Finding My Faith Part 2

Right around the same time that the Left Behind books were gaining popularity, we got Internet access. I started frequenting the Christian chat rooms and was shocked to find that there were Christians who didn't believe dispensational theology, didn't believe in the security of the believer, believed that baptism was necessary for salvation, and lo and behold THEY TOO could point to Bible verses to back up their statements.

I really thought that the Baptist view of Scripture was the only truly biblical view. (Lord, forgive me!) Imagine my surprise I was also shocked to discover that Baptists did not have the corner marketed on salvation. See, in my experience, Baptists would *say* that you could be saved in other denominations (except for Roman Catholicism) but they didn't act like they really believed it. They teach that baptism is the first step in obedience for a new believer, the "answer of a good conscience toward God." There was nothing salvific about the water in the baptistry, they made that pointedly clear.
B U T if you happened to have been raised in a church that practiced infant baptism or did not immerse, you HAD to be re-baptized, "scripturally."

I learned through discussions with those believers on AOL that there WERE other genuine Christians out there that had never darkened the doorstep of a Independent, Fundamental, Pre-millenial, KJV-only Baptist church, in fact, they rejected a lot of the doctrine that I held dear. And they challenged me to search the Scriptures, like the Bereans did. Not that they directly challenged me, but as they'd back up their opposing views with Scripture I realized that there was a possibility that I could be wrong. Only one way to find out!

It was at this time that I was called to homeschool my kids, and found the Sonlight Forums. They had a forum called Edu-Anon, that has since been renamed Lifelong Learners. LL (or LLL) became the hub of theological discussion, and one of my favorite places to chat. Once again, my faith was challenged through lively discussions with Christians from other backgrounds. One in particular is an ordained deacon in the Episcopal church, and a woman to boot. I fought the urge to tell her how dreadfully unbiblical it is for her to be a deacon in the church - Baptist deacons are MEN. Then I read about Phoebe and did a little Greek study and one more piece of my foundation crumbled.

I was obsessed for quite some time, researching different denominations and finding out what their essentials and distinctives are. If I was going to be conversing with these people regularly, I wanted to know EXACTLY where they were coming from, so I could "lovingly" show them the errors of their belief system. (I was still mostly right at this point)

I was searching for devotional materials when I ran across the Book of Common Prayer at CBD. I asked my deaconess friend about it - she said "Sure, it can be used as a devotional!" (I think she knew exactly what she was doing to me!!) So I ordered one. Something happened to me when I started reading through those ancient prayers and reading through the services. I just knew that liturgical worship, far from being dry, stale ritual, was alive and filled with the Word of God! The fact is, more Scripture is read in a liturgical church than I'd ever heard in Sunday morning AND evening services as a Baptist.

Not sure how my husband was going to feel about my change, I proceeded with caution and just shared little tidbits here and there about where I was being led (and I'm still unsure where I'll end up in this life!) He knew I was unhappy in our current church for more reasons than just the theological differences, and told me that he didn't 100% agree with Baptist doctrine. I was not yet ready to venture into a real church, so I got my liturgy "fix" by doing the Daily Office online and occasionally watching the Mass at the Notre Dame Cathedral that broadcast on a public access channel. I did visit an Episcopal church in Ohio while my oldest dd and I were there for a dance competition. She felt drawn into the liturgy as well, but didn't care for the wine. (o;

Some of you may be aware of the issues surrounding the Episcopal Church USA recently. While I really felt like the Episcopal church was everything I was looking for in a church, basically Catholicism sans the Pope, I couldn't in good conscience attend the church in my city after I contacted the rector and found out he was totally supportive of the homosexual bishop in NH. What to do? I was ready to experience liturgy for real and didn't know where to go. I wasn't about to become Catholic and my options around here are very limited.

My deacon friend again came through for me and recommended an ELCA Lutheran church, as the ELCA and the ECUSA are in communion with one another. There just happens to be an ELCA church less than 5 minutes from my house, so I've been going to their 8:00 service then joining my husband for church first at the Baptist church and currently at a very contemporary church that brings out my critical spirit, which, as you might guess, is not very conducive to pure worship. We are praying about being involved in the music ministry once the sister church starts this Sunday. I don't know if I can even minister in that setting, but God will make a way if it's where He wants me.

Part 3 coming soon!