Thirsting For God

It has become abundantly clear that NOW is not the time for me to cross the Tiber. As much as I want to, it would likely tear my marriage apart.

The good news is that I can be catholic even though I'm not Catholic. Catholic thinking is not limited to the Roman Catholic Church. As my dear deacon friend so eloquently put it:

A catholic thinker sees the church as one, unified, and spanning time and space. A catholic thinker is therefore drawn to liturgical worship because you can't span time and space within the microcosm of your own little building. But a catholic thinker is also a sacramentalist for the same reason: the sacraments span time and space and even the natural physics of things because they're a link between what's happening in heaven itself and what takes place here. It's the divine magic. Likewise, a reformed Christian understands that some of the theological ideas of the human institution of the church needed (and continue to need) to be re-examined. Not because what went before was wrong (that is the uncatholic way of examining the past and present need for reform) but because somewhere along the lines, sinners that we are, we've managed to deviate from the faith once delivered to the saints.

I can look back over the last two years and see that I was first drawn to liturgical worship, then the sacraments, and now I need to find where exactly it is that God wants to plant me so I can once again bloom. I've been uprooted for so long, as far as having a church home. I've been in church, but none that I would call home.

My biggest fear is this - I am digging in my heels about The Bridge; I don't feel God's presence there, I don't see a real reverence for God there, I'm not getting fed much at all there - what if that is where He wants to plant me??? (Insert "scared to pieces" smilie here, if there is such a thing)