Whew!!!

Emphatically, NO, God will NOT plant me at The Bridge. I had opened myself up to the possibility that The Bridge was where God wanted me for a time and had determined that I would go in and worship God, because I feel that I *should* be able to worship anywhere that God is being worshipped 'in spirit and in truth.'

I should preface this with the facts: it is "that time of the month" so my nerves were on edge anyway, AND I was tired. But still hoping to hear from the Lord concerning The Bridge and whether that was where I/we oughtta be. If that was where He wanted to plant me, I was ready to deal with it.

SO, we're ushered into 'worship' yesterday with a Dave Matthews Band video. Hmmm, last I checked, Dave Matthews didn't get much airtime on my Christian radio station. Come to think of it, I'd never HEARD a whole Dave Matthews song until they played this video yesterday. "Worship" music was more of the same stuff, one good song, "Forever," then songs like "Made to Worship" which I wouldn't mind hearing on the radio but they're not really singable AS worship songs. There's a real 'anti-anything that looks or feels like traditional church' attitude there that was spelled out clearly in the message. I fought back tears for most of the service but eventually lost the fight.

EVEN DH SAID LATER IT WAS NOT CHURCH AND HE WAS NOT GOING TO CALL IT CHURCH ANYMORE.

When we got home I told dh I was going to lie down for a bit, while trying to fight the tears that were once again forming without my consent. He said (Lord, Bless him!) I didn't have to ever go back there again. He followed me to the bedroom and said,

"Get some rest now. We'll talk later about whatever it is that is making you feel like this, because I want to fix it. I'm open to whatever. I love you."

Oh Lord, HELP. Give me the words to say. Give him a heart that is indeed open to what I have to say. Give us UNITY. You made us One Flesh. I miss having my other half worship beside me.

"God on high, Hear my prayer,
In my need You have always been there....
Bring him home."